The first physical sign of the drug became evident about an hour after taking it, when I felt my hands to be "airy," as if they wanted to just gently fly off on their own. Simultaneously, something that was said touched me deeply, and I felt very emotional. There were, however, few similarities with psychedelics. Adam is much gentler, and there were no visual hallucinations. There was a distinct emotional effect. I felt that my most compassionate aspect was in full control. I was able to see and understand other peoples' actions from a totally neutral place, with a compassionate feeling for them, even if their actions caused me pain.

       I had access to feelings of love, compassion, and forgiveness for my father. We have had a lifetime of difficulty in our relationship, and since he is very old and sick I have been troubled lately that perhaps he might die soon without ever having experienced a good communication between us. This experience assisted me in seeing him and his situation in a very giving, caring way, and to let the difficult aspects of our relationship fail away. It was a totally new feeling for me that I had never had for him before, and it was a healing experience for me, and, I hope, for him.

       The drug seemed to bring out my gentlest, most compassionate nature, and to suppress the more judgemental, critical aspects of my personality. These are definitely part of my make-up, but are not the parts of myself that I am most proud of. It was actually quite lovely to feel such deep compassion, such true caring, to such a great degree. It was a very genuine feeling, and I could see why people had spoken of this drug as one that could enhance relationships.

       But it was also much more. It provided an ability to see clearly, and, as my guide had told me, to access information from what I call universal consciousness. It could also foster intuition and encourage the flow of creative ideas. Most of the time I was lying on my bed, listening to music, going deep within to ask questions and receive answers. Occasionally my guide would comment, or offer me water, or turn on the tape recorder when I wanted to tape a thought or idea.

       I felt, and still feel, an enormous love for her, and a great appreciation for her gentle guidance and caring for me. She made sure that all of my physical needs were met, provided the most perfect music I could imagine, and generally was 100% there for me in anything I needed.

       At one point, since I and others are working on a project about US/USSR citizen diplomacy, and are concerned with peace issues, my guide asked me to look and see what impressions I got about where the nuclear threat was going. Were we destined to blow ourselves up or was this increasing nuclear threat just an aberrant behavior that had gone too far off balance? It felt as though this nuclear threat we are experiencing is some sort of test, a difficulty placed in our path for us to overcome. I asked other questions and received answers, all of which seemed familiar, as if some part of me already knew these answers and needed only to be reminded of them.

       One thing is certain: I'd like to be able to access these feelings of compassion and deep caring in a selfless manner at other times, and so I am working on remembering this feeling and am keeping connected with it. The entire experience was very valuable.